About  2 1/2 years ago when my roommate and I moved into our little apartment, I found a piece of treasure among her belongings. I have to say, once I discovered this jewel I was a bit jealous. I wanted it. I wanted my own. It plagued on my mind and I thought about how having it would dramatically improve my life. Yes, I secretly coveted her treasure. SIGH…

What was this ” treasure” ?


But it wasn’t just any Down Comforter. THIS was a worn in, well used,and resembling full and plushy clouds, kind of comforter. I would come up with every excuse I could think of to experience this ” masterpiece of comfort”.

” Can I come snuggle? I think YOU need a hug..”

” We need to talk about something important… on your bed..”

” Let’s build a fort in the living room.. and we’ll use your comforter to keep us warm ok?..”

” How about we watch a movie together.. you know, I think your blanket would be the perfect  ” movie blanket..”

” You’re going out-of-town?  Can I sleep in your bed while you’re gone? It’s so much better than mine!”

The list goes on…

About a year ago, Olivia surprised me with my VERY OWN!!  When I discovered this most amazing gift,I did the “SQUEAL, JUMP and PLOW“.

Squeal with excitement..

Jump.. because the surprise was too great to be contained within something grounded..

 Plow.. over Olivia that is.  I was a Mack truck.. and she, the baby kitten in the middle of the road that doesn’t know what’s about to hit it.

Now let me tell you, I am NOT exaggerating when I say that every single night, EVERY night, I lay in bed and thank Olivia, in my head, for my comforter. I snuggle under, tuck my self in and wrap myself all around with this ” heaven”. For almost a year now, I am reminded how Olivia heard me. I wasn’t asking her for anything, but she listened to more than what I was saying with my words. She was paying attention to my actions.

How many times are we missing what someone is telling us because we aren’t listening to their actions? Actually, I find many times that things that people are saying aren’t really what their SAYING at all. Some may speak confidently or with pride, but are really masking deep insecurities. Or maybe they are harsh and critical with their words, but what they’re really saying is ” Im angry or hurt, and I don’t know how else to express myself. ” Or.. maybe they seem enthusiastic, outgoing and bubbly and are using that to try to draw people in because they are lonely and in need of real relationships.

Now, Im not saying that we should “read into” everything that people are saying, but the question is…

” Are we paying attention? Are we intentionally listening to body language,habits, facial expressions, subtle hints and unspoken communication?”

What if we conduct an experiment? 

What if we were to pick one person in our life, someone who we can ” study”, to see if we can learn something about them that they are not telling us with their words.

We might learn that someone appreciates little touches of affection more than we realised. Maybe we’d learn that someone really loves a certain kind of food. We might even find that a certain person could really use some help, but just hasn’t had the strength to ask for it.

How many relationships do we take for granted? How many times do we think ” I’m so close to them. I know them so well! “… OR .. ” I don’t think there’s anything I DONT know about that person”


There are so many layers in people, that as the years roll along, become more exposed. People are learning more about who they are,what they value, and are constantly changing. So if we are always changing, then shouldn’t we “update” and search out the NEW developments in the people around us? Especially for those we think we’ve got ” figured out” ?

Who are you LISTENING to?


One thought on “Are you LISTENING?

  1. hit the nail on the head…i’m there right now, wanting folks to understand “where i’m coming from” yet keeping them at a distance, needing help but not asking for being burned or constantly let down by folks who don’t follow through. flip side, i’ve been watching my crew members to understand their work conflicts and finding their backstories can explain so much of their actions, looks, etc. well written lesley.

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